Front Row Seat in My Life

neisha alvarado

Many years ago, I was renting a room at a friend parent’s house. In the begining everything was going great, I was super excited to be living with my friend but after a few days went by I noticed that she and her mom would fight for everything and would curse and scream at each other all of the time. To me, this was unbelievable and inconceivable because I would never dare to raise my voice at my mother and let alone curse her out.
I felt that I needed to help this mother and daughter out so they could respect one another and they could have a better relationship– In my mind I thought that I could really help, I felt some sort of life coach.
This friend,  who I’m going to call Alicia  (I’m sorry I’m not saying her name-I  don’t want to cause her any problems ), got herself into many problems during those times. She lost her license I don’t know how many times for DUI and she used to take drugs for recreational purposes.
One night my friend while driving under the influence of alcohol, hit a neighbor’s car from the same street, this was very late at night and fortunately for her by the time people when to see on their windows what had happened she already flew the scene and went to her boyfriend’s apartment where she left the car. When she got home she told her family and me what had happened and everyone but me agreed to keep it a secret and they left her car hidden at her boyfriend’s apartment until it was fixed.

I was scandalized and upset by this, I felt as if I was covering a murder. I told them that the correct thing to do was to tell the neighbor what had happened and to pay for the damages but since they were afraid of the possible legal repercussions they didn’t and from there on I became this family enemy and traitor, everything went sour and to make this story a little shorter I was kicked out of the house which I would never forget that because it happened to be my birthday.
Like this story, there were other stories where I felt something was not right in people’s lives and I wanted to help to fix their lives.
After all these different situations and all these years of being a “Grown up”, I’ve realized I wanted to help people whose lives I thought were messier than mine because I was avoiding thinking about my own life and how messy it was. I was not thinking about the mistakes I was making at the time -which were plenty- and I was only looking at others people’s mistakes, I didn’t want to feel the pain of being away from my own family at the time, I was hurting and it was just easier to take a seat in the front row of others peoples lives instead of dealing with mine.
Now, I’m sitting front row in my own life, I’m working on myself. Working on my soul, my mind, and my body. Although I feel I’m in a better place now, there still improvements I need to make to be a better person and to have a better life.
So what happened to Alicia you might ask?, well, although we are not close friends anymore I will always care about her and wish her well, I do know that she is married with 2 beautiful children and close to her family.
With all my love,



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